A month after my 30th birthday, I found myself perilously employed at a job I resent, functionally broke, estranged from family, inconsolably lonely with an anguished heart, and hospitalized for two weeks from complications during retinal detachment surgery – which had no apparent cause in the first place other than to add to the cascading … Continue reading Unravel – Prologue
Category: Citalopram Chronicles
My 4-step coping strategy for panic attacks.
It begins with the world closing in and the floors and the desks and the walls and the crowd and the trees and grass and the skies bending, bending towards you with vehement intent and the space around you spinning, spinning into a whirlpool of red, yellow, orange and green then bright, bright light scorching … Continue reading My 4-step coping strategy for panic attacks.
There fell thy shadow.
~ Citalopram Chronicles (Week 3 and 4). “Non sum qualis eram.” I had hoped this would be a celebration of the efficacy of medication, that the moral of the story would have been: seek help if thy brain is faulty, take thy medicine like a good boy, and all would be well. I had even … Continue reading There fell thy shadow.
Citalopram Chronicles, Week 2
The first three days began with the nausea subsiding. The Tremors dwindled. The heart stilled. But the discomfort did not disappear completely. That sensation of some dark melancholic thought chocked at the throat was ever present. In quiet moments, my gut still fluttered. And sleep did not return at night. On some nights I caught … Continue reading Citalopram Chronicles, Week 2
Citalopram Chonicles Days 4-7
Day 4 Took meds at 7.12am Physical: sleep disturbances have set in. Woke up at 2am, tossing and toiling until 4am. Managed to catch 2-3 hours of Zs. The wave of nausea punched in exactly 1 hour later. Maybe I should have taken it at night instead so that I could sleep through the worst … Continue reading Citalopram Chonicles Days 4-7
Citalopram Chronicles: The Beginning
Days 1 to 3 I am beginning a new course of antidepressant medication after some years off. This time I’m going to document the effects, good and bad, as they occur. Going on antidepressants for the first time is like venturing to a new planet, but I've been here before. My first course of treatment … Continue reading Citalopram Chronicles: The Beginning
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