Better immured by walls than muffled noises.
Tag: Depression
Home
It was first known as 'the house', 'my parent's place', 'back there', a cage, my prison. Schoolmates used to ask if they could come by and play, when we walked past my door on their way home. Before I run out of excuses, they stopped asking; soon they stopped sharing that walk with me too, … Continue reading Home
On Gratitude
I am at the tail end of a crisis made endurable by the fidelity of friendship. Let this be a memento that through hardest times there were those who offered the rarest gift, without supplication, and thus the anguish brought on by the utter rejection of some was redeemed by the unconditional validation of others. … Continue reading On Gratitude
Citalopram Chronicles: The Beginning
Days 1 to 3 I am beginning a new course of antidepressant medication after some years off. This time I’m going to document the effects, good and bad, as they occur. Going on antidepressants for the first time is like venturing to a new planet, but I've been here before. My first course of treatment … Continue reading Citalopram Chronicles: The Beginning
On my birthday, a suicide
This is my cycle. I know it well. It begins around Christmas, subsides with the onset of spring, and burst out in full swing at this exact time of year. For most of my life I was a passenger inhabiting a vessel, watching with detached eyes, feeling it all, but unable to act. But now … Continue reading On my birthday, a suicide
Goodbye to Ghosts
In the days leading to a new year, some reflection is in order. I didn’t expect to last this long. Many things coincided in the past that brought me, at a very young age, to the realization that no matter what medications I took, what meditative practices I pursued, demons would haunt me forever, lest … Continue reading Goodbye to Ghosts
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